Tom’s Tea House
1333 Hilyard St
Eugene, OR 97401
(541) 344-1175

See this location on a map

Eugenified.com rating: 1 vote, average: 1.00 out of 51 vote, average: 1.00 out of 51 vote, average: 1.00 out of 51 vote, average: 1.00 out of 51 vote, average: 1.00 out of 5

Loading...

You know how sometimes you find a really bad restaurant that’s so bad it actually becomes good in a way? Well, Tom’s Tea House is not one of those. No, the dial gauge pointer for Tom’s has spun all the way around, gone past bad, back into the good range, but then continued on to stop firmly in the bad range. That’s double bad. Astonishingly bad.

Why is this restaurant so bad? Let me count the ways:

  • The front door doesn’t close all the way, so a 2 inch gap of icy air enters during the winter.
  • The front area where you place your order is a mess.
  • The lady owner is rude and indifferent.
  • The male owner (“chef”, this title is placed in quotes due to its marginal connection with the reality of his cooking “skills”, also placed in quotes because they are “meager”, also placed in quotes because he has none) seems slightly insane.
  • The tables and chairs appear to have been purchased from six different garage sales at 4:30pm on a Sunday afternoon, after everything of any value had already been sold, and the homeowner was trying to figure out if the trash service would charge him to haul this stuff away.
  • The decor is a mix of leftover stuff from the previous three failed restaurants PLUS a load of kitschy kaa-rap from the worst tourist trap in San Francisco’s Chinatown.
  • The kitchen is a dirty mess. How can they pass inspections? Knowing quite a bit about how things are done in mainland China (these owners are from mainland), I can only assume it has something to do with a red envelope…

And now for the food:

  • It’s bad. (all dishes)
  • No, seriously, it’s really bad. (all dishes)
  • Overcooked noodles (beef noodle soup)
  • Lots of MSG sprinkled about the place (all dishes)
  • Fatty beef (beef dishes)
  • Terrible flavor concept (all dishes)
  • Stinky pork, probably 2 weeks past fresh (potstickers, etc.)
  • Dirty dishes (all dishes, literally)

By my calculation, if you added up all the undercooked dishes and overcooked dishes, then divided that sum by the number of dishes, then subtracted four times the price of each dish, this place would still suck.

One star is being generous. Not because I am a good guy, but because the rating plug-in that I am using for this website does not allow 0.5 star ratings. I wonder how to type the shortcut for that little puking emoticon? I really could use it right about now.

Eugenified.com rating: 1 vote, average: 1.00 out of 51 vote, average: 1.00 out of 51 vote, average: 1.00 out of 51 vote, average: 1.00 out of 51 vote, average: 1.00 out of 5

Loading...

Tom's Tea House on Urbanspoon